Date your spouse – It’s good for you and your relationship!

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Are you married? Good! Take a few minutes to read this blog. Today, The Morning Thing talked about the benefits of dating your spouse.

Dr. Greg Smalley is Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family and the author or co-author of several books, including Take the Date Night Challenge.

Dr. Smalley shares that when a couple spends time alone each week, their levels of happiness, positive communication and sexual satisfaction are more than three times higher than those who don’t spend that time together. That means you might be able to dramatically increase these important areas of your marriage by simply dating your wife!
The Morning Thing shared some insight from his article, “The Hidden Benefits of Dating your Wife” from www.focusonthefamily.com

Click HERE to read the entire article.

Dr. Smalley says that Date night is a fantastic way to make sure you and your wife are connecting positively and enjoying each other’s company on a regular basis. It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. But it’s going to take time, effort and planning.

The key to a great date is to make sure you don’t administrate your marriage when you go out — don’t have conversations about finances, household responsibilities, problems with the kids or sensitive issues. You need to talk about these things, but not during a date. Date night is about enjoying each other.

Are you willing to take the Date Night Challenge? Go out on three dates in three weeks and watch how this will strengthen your marriage!

Dating takes some planning. Click HERE to read more about the heart and soul of Date Night!he best dates need to have the following characteristics:

  • Regularity—You need to make time on a regular and consistent basis to enjoy one another’s company.
  • Variety—Doing the same thing over and over can become monotonous. Spice up your couple time with a wide range of interesting pursuits.
  • Adventure—You don’t have to plan something elaborate or expensive. Maintaining a sense of adventure simply means including an element of the new, the unusual, or the unexpected.
  • Fun—This might seem obvious, but it’s more important than you think. Research shows that couples who engage in fun activities together enjoy deeper intimacy. So whatever you do during your Date Nights—and during other moments when you’re enjoying leisure time as a couple—make sure it’s FUN!

Sometimes in marriage, we forget that we need to pursue and “woo” our spouse.
Here are some more tips from Dr. Greg Smalley from Focus on the Family.
– Dress up
– Be polite and open doors
– Compliment one another
– Be affectionate – hold hands, cuddle and steal kisses

Other steps for a great date night:

Step 1: Go someplace different for dinner.

Instead of visiting the same familiar locations and eating the same old food, pick somewhere new or try a different type of cuisine.

Step 2: Enjoy your time together!

Your assignment for this Date Night is simple: do something that you both enjoy! If possible, select an activity that that has the elements of adventurevariety, and fun in it, as described above. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Play a round of miniature golf or Frisbee golf
  • Take a cooking class together
  • Attend a sporting event (but remember, this needs to be something you both enjoy!)
  • Go ballroom dancing
  • Go shopping at thrift stores and find some new treasures
  • Visit an amusement park and enjoy the Ferris wheel—or tempt fate on the roller coaster!

Step 3: Relax and unwind.

After your activity, relax and emotionally connect by talking.  Answer the following questions. Be sure to keep your responses positive, uplifting and encouraging.
– What was your favorite part of the evening?
– What is the one thing you learned tonight that you didn’t know about me before?
– What are some of the things we enjoy doing together?
– What memories do these activities evoke?
– What are some new activities that we’d like to consider for a future date?
– How can we make sure that  we make spending enjoyable time together a regular part of our marriage?

Step 4: Home and Sweet Home

As you drive home, spend time planning your next date. Also, think about additional ways you can foster fun times together.  Once you get home, however, it’s up to you what happens next. Have a great final adventure!

The Focus on the Family Marriage Assessment is designed to evaluate the strength of 12 essential traits of your marriage. Do you know your marriage’s strengths and weaknesses? Click HERE to find out more and to take the FREE test!

We also shared 6 things that keep an emotional connection in marriage. Susan Merrill writes an insightful article for www.imom.com. Click HERE to read the full article.

These 6 things will help you stay connected to your husband.

1. Be courteous and kind to each other.

2. Talk about issues before they get out of hand.

3. Support each other.

4. Date regularly.

5. Live in a “we” world.

6. Be physically intimate.

(Picture from www.imom.com)

Will you take the Date Night Challenge? Insight from Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley

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Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley are coming to Mount Vernon Nazarene University this weekend.

Click HERE to hear a conversation with New Life Church of the Nazarene pastor, Troy McNichols. New Life Naz is sponsoring this event.

The Morning Thing shared some insight from the Smalleys today.
(From “Take the Date Night Challenge) Common-sense reasons why committing to a regular date night can revolutionize your marriage:
1. Date nights are critical for the health of your relationship. Marriage relationships are dynamic; they are alive and always changing. And just like any relationship, marriages need to be fed and stimulated to stay alive and grow.

2. Date nights help you get reacquainted. The notion that you already know all there is to know about your spouse is a myth. There is always something new to learn about your spouse, because we all change. Dating is a great way to update and deepen your knowledge of your beloved. It’s vital that you keep that curiosity and interest in your mate flourishing.

Why Date After You’re Married? 7
3. Date nights are a great investment in the future. Just like a savings account, the more you invest in your relationship, the more it will grow exponentially over time. Dates also lay the framework for future times together, encouraging you and your spouse to look forward to spending more time together.

4. Date nights put the focus back on your marriage. As you well know, day-to-day distractions pull your attention away from your spouse. Dates help you refocus and put that person back at the top of your priority list. When a date night is going the way it should, the only thing the two of you have to concentrate on is one another. (More on this later!)

5. Date nights help you remember the good times. A good date will often bring up fond premarriage memories. Recalling these memories can help you and your spouse generate positive feelings and anticipation for your next date.

6. Date nights send a positive message. To your friends, family, and especially your kids, marriage needs to be viewed as something valuable, special, and precious. Marriage is something important enough to put ongoing effort into. And date nights communicate to your spouse that he or she is valuable enough not to give all of your prime time to other people or things.

7. Date nights strengthen the marital bond. The more time you and your spouse spend alone enjoying each other, the stronger your bond becomes. This naturally deepens your intimacy and brings you closer together.

8. Date nights are a great way to reconnect. Dating helps you unplug from your busy and hectic pace of life in order to simply enjoy being together.

9. Date nights rekindle the romance in your relationship. Having a night out with your spouse is an important part of keeping romance alive.

10. Date nights inject excitement into a stale marriage. Under the stress of work, household duties and child-rearing, spouses can become nothing more than distant roommates. Just like the young couple at the beginning of this chapter, spouses need to feel that rush of excitement and adrenaline from time to time. They must never succumb to the idea that their marriage is simply a recycled union of two tired and bored souls.

11. Date nights help you both decompress. Every couple needs a chance to enjoy one another’s company without being weighed down by the demands of life. A date night should be free from the distractions of children, extended family, friends, or work. It should represent an opportunity for you to rediscover the person you fell in love with. We’ll explore this concept in much greater detail in the next chapter.

12. Date nights strengthen your commitment. By making date night a priority, you are communicating to your spouse that divorce is out of the question and that you are committed to strengthening your marriage by spending ongoing, quality time together.

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