Powerful ways to love your teen!

Today on the show, we shared some powerful ways to love your teen, from our friends at Focus on the Family.

 

“An eye roll (or 20). A smashed bumper. Indifference and disrespect. Eating the last of your favorite ice cream, for crying out loud! For some parents, the teenage years test the bonds of unconditional love like no other parenting season. We can’t force our children to behave respectfully, love us wholeheartedly or — let’s be honest — even like to be around us.

But here’s the good news: After working with teens and their families for more than a decade, I’ve noticed four key actions that help parents connect with their teens, and as a result, make it easier for those teens to appreciate their families in return.”

1. Fight Fair

Conflict isn’t the problem; knowing how to resolve it peaceably is. In our home, we call healthy conflict resolution “fighting fair.” The goal is to reach a compromise or truce with a greater understanding of each other, rather than wounding each other with dagger-like words or cold indifference. When we stick to the rules of a good, clean fight, the resolution is always better.

2. Figure Them Out

Figuring out a teen sounds like an impossibility, akin to understanding quantum physics or capturing video of Bigfoot. While it might be impossible to wrap our minds around our teens’ moody landscape and catawampus decision-making, we can get to know them as individuals. Sure, you know your son still gets hungry at 4 p.m. just as he did when he was 5, but do you know what his greatest fears are at 16? You might know your daughter would rather be grounded for a week than clean her room, but do you know who her best friends are and why?

3. Free Them

Our goal as parents is to help our kids reach adulthood before they leave our home, not hope they figure it out after they leave. To do this, you have to concede freedoms, even when teens don’t use those freedoms wisely. Let them increasingly make their own decisions about food, sleep, homework, purchases and activities, and allow them to enjoy the rewards or suffer the natural consequences of their choices.

4. Foresee Change

One of the only certainties about the teen years is that they will end. In a few years, your relationship will change. So before your teens launch into adulthood, ask yourself:

• How do I want to spend the days we have left together?
• Are there battles I can relinquish?
• Are there experiences I want us to share?

 

View the whole article here!